Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my future. What am I going to do? Should I keep doing what I've been doing? Should I pursue something else?
If I ask myself too many questions, I often find myself worrying about it all. Stressing out about the unknown. I like spontaneity in life, but I also like to have some idea of what's going on, and what I'm supposed to do.
When I was younger, I would fantasize about graduating from high school, meeting the man of my dreams, marrying, and then having children. I imagined(and hoped) that I'd be married and have a few children by the age of 23. But that's not what happened. I'm still single, and taking care of other people's children, instead of ones of my own.
So what happened? If marriage and raising children is such a wonderful and important part of life, why hasn't it happened to me? I've asked myself this many times over the last few years.
And then I remember a very critical thing:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8, 9 ESV.
Even though my hopes and dreams may be nice, God's are so much better. Mine are about what I want, and what I think is right, but God's plans are about what's best for me and those around me, and what will bring glory and honor to Him. The funny thing though is, God may fulfill my hopes someday, but I can already guarantee that it won't be in my timing. It'll all work out the way He planned from the beginning.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
So where am I going with all this rambling? Am I saying I should just sit around and wait until God audibly tells me what I should do? No. Am I trying to advertise that I'm single and available. Absolutely not. =P Am I saying that my life thus far has been wasted because my dreams haven't come true? Not at all.
I know that my life hasn't been wasted. I've been able to do many things that, had I gotten hitched straight out of school, never would have happened. I've learned and experienced so much through those things.
Although God doesn't speak to me in a voice, I know that He will guide me, either through His Word, my parents, or other godly adults, or He'll bring the right thing to my doorstep. ;) Or by all of those.
My hope is that through reading this, you will be encouraged. And if you've been struggling with shattered dreams, that you'll realize that sometimes those dreams aren't God's plan. That He will give you new, better dreams; ones that He will fulfill.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4 ESV
So to answer my original questions, I have no idea. But that's okay. God has it all figured out, and He's in control. =)
|One of my little sisters and me.|